This One Thing Could Change your Relationship
“I found myself wanting to love my husband and others well, but it seemed impossible to not keep track of wrongs.”
The Bible tells us love keeps no record of wrong in 1 Corinthians 13:5. I use to think this was impossible. It’s not like I can selectively forget the wrong that has been done to me or that I have done to others. If selective amnesia isn’t an option what then am I left to do with these wrongs? I found myself wanting to love my husband and others well, but it seemed impossible to not keep track of wrongs. The keeping track was not intentional, but the wrongs left a mark that left me with caution. If my husband said something hurtful to me, regardless of his intention, I would be cautious about the way I interacted with him in the future especially around the topic or situation which I felt hurt over. I would avoid some topics all together because I didn’t want to upset him or get hurt by his response or tone. I would read 1 Corinthians 13 and see by keeping a record of wrong I was limiting the connection between us, but I didn’t know how to not let past hurts impact my present. Then one day, as I was reading 1 Corinthians 13, it clicked. I could keep a record of rights. Thank you Jesus!
In application, I began to focus on what my husband, children, friends, family members, church family, and co-workers were doing right. I began to thank God for the people in my life and asking God to bless them. The wrongs didn’t go away. And hurtful interactions didn’t magically become pleasant. But my record started to contain more rights than wrongs and it became easier to look at the situation through a different lens, a lens of forgiveness and empathy. Keeping a record of right doesn’t make evil intentions good, so please don’t misunderstand what I am suggesting. The Bible tells us just a couple chapters later in 1 Corinthians 15:33 to not be misled: bad company corrupts good behavior. And in the old testament, in Proverbs 13:20, we are told to walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm. That is enough evidence to convince me that not all people are trust worthy and if they have a track record of wrongs towards you it may be best to not associate with them on an intimate or personal level. So, to summarize, keeping a record of right will not magically make wrongs feel pleasant or necessarily charge the heart of the wrong doer but it may change the way you respond to the wrong and to the wrong doer. Keeping a record of rights has greatly impacted my relationships, especially those that are most important to me and my desire is that you too can begin to keep a record of rights regarding those you love. What do you have to lose?
Cassey St.Rose,LPC
I remember reading this as a new Christian and thinking yeah maybe if you had parents that were honorable, but what if they were/are not honorable. What if you had parents that abused you, neglected you, or abandoned you?
Read More →